Been a long time, i know...
To be honest, i should know better. I've gone to sleep pretty much every night since i've been back from uni telling myself that i need to walk away as i'm not happy. The ex is still 100% in my life and it's so hard! I love him more than i ever intended to and can't pull myself away from him. However, it seems the more and more i put myself out there the harder the blow at when getting knocked back. I know what i'm doing is foolish and embarrassing so why don't i stop? Truth is i hope that one day he will wake up out of the blue and realise that i'm what he wants, but deep down i know this is stupidly deluded, as we don't live in a fairytale. Sex and the City's Samantha definitely got it right, casual sex must be the way forward, as real feelings these days are clearly nothing more than a myth.
Goodnight All,
A Pessimistic Holly :(
xxx
P.S. Happy Fucking Christmas!
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